courtney.

Maybe..

Inspired by watching the sex & the city finale, I decided to walk back into my tumblr’s life and post for the new year. I’ve realized many things this passed year. Maybe you really only can count on yourself. Maybe when you only think you can count on yourself, other people step into your life and you realize that you can count on people. Maybe to become closer with someone else, you really do need to give up your fears, you doubts, and trust them. Maybe, in order to show someone how much you care, you really do have to step out of your comfort zone in order to put them back in theirs. And finally, to quote the show that inspired this damn blog, “the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”

P.S.- to top off this decade and year, i lost my phone at my aunt’s house, well when i left her house it was in my pocket, when i arrived at my house it was not, i burnt myself on her toaster oven trying to help, and i have the sniffles and coughs. :/

Day 2:The Stepford Wives

Day 2 started like usual. Set my alarm, woke up, felt okay, started crying, cried cried cried. Went in Blaze & Mervat’s room, cried some more, put on Confessions of a Shopaholic, cried. Had 10 missed phone calls, 7 texts and a voicemail from worried family members.I went to the Wrap place with the laurens and gabby and finally I realized:this isn’t so bad. I didn’t want to give in to the stereotype in my head: the one of Brittany, Kelsey, and Amber. I didn’t want my roomates to become my family and this and that and yadada. Not that they are bad for loving college, I didn’t want to like it. But I just felt a wall within me crash, and just break down. I started to like it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not all “the sun sets because of this person and I don’t know what it’s like to poop without hearing this person sing”. I’m more of a dealing with it type, excepting anything that comes my way. Of course, I start classes tomorrow and hopefully I will see Jen Liu! She shall calm my nerves, if they need calming. The only thing I’m worried about tomorrow is remembering I have 3 classes, not 2. So onto day 3 I suppose, ready to take on the world. Good night

Project : untitled-day 1

Okay, so here I sit at 2:28 am in my dorm. I am trying tog et through the first night. I decided to come up with a project(whose name I didn’t come up with yet) highlighting my days and nights of my sophomore year living experience. I woke up this morning throwing up and crying, uber nervous to meet my roomates. Fast forward, I get here, cry for about an hour combined. My original plan was to go to the concert with my roomates and have fun, but I opted out for a famialr face and laugh:Sophia. She broke my first night into college and I couldn’t have wished for a better companion or way to spend it. We walk around temple, get something to eat(first meal in 2 days ! ! ), and I show her my dorm. Then I walk to 16th& oxford, have a half of smirnoff(the other one dedicated to my homies as I dropped it out of her car door on 12th& girard. Excuse me, I got ahead of myself. Then we decided we would drive around Philly for the night. We drove down 12th street to oregon, down oregon ave to front street where we stopped for gas(cue emotional breakdown & phone call to schwoe HERE). We go up delaware ave to visit schwoe. This said visit turned into a missed turn onto 95 north. We head towards roxborough(cue pouring horrible scary storm HERE) and we wait 15 minutes in the car before running to the movie theater. Inglorious Bastards? 15 minutes? of course! I spent the next 2 hours of my life watching Brad Pitt and his amazingness(maybe just for this movie) and having a realizing time with Sophia. Movie ends(cue stomach pains !) I come back to my apartment to realized that a pen exploded in my bag:awesome. I get a shower, cry while in the shower, get out of the shower, deal withlife. We are now at current time-2:34. Who knew I could sum up 6 hours worth of comforting and fun in 6 minutes? Not me. Thank god for Sophia and the way this night turned out. I could have been getting ready to leave tomorrow to go home. I might be next week ;) however I’ll try super super hard not too. I mean when I drove down 12th street with sophia, it was like 4 blocks and I was at girard ! ! Not the most familar of surroundings, but hell a comfort it was! I’m going to try and sleep. Night tumblr, I shall rejoin you for day 2 of project untitled.

I now reside in a different world. I live amongst shot glasses and coffee mugs, books and teapots. I mingle with the tee-shirts and the pencils and of course the bells. Oh, the bells, dozens of them. The magnets are beautiful as well as the keychains. These are my friends. Diamonds and jewelry are bought daily, and if I am lucky enough I am the one on the other side of the counter.  I deal with hundreds of people on a daily basis. Thousands if you count the ones I see or talk too. I’m living life and it’s as simple as that. I interact with hundreds of strangers on a daily basis and have never felt more alone.